DeathWyrmNexus

Well, I figured it was high time I posted another journal so all of those who give a shit could once again realize the meaning of painful reading as I trip the light fantastic of bullshit. And yes, I realize what the Phrase trip the light fantastic really means, I am just a jerk.

Good news is that I have Campaign information to add from my Heroes Unlimited Campaign using the Palladium System. Three of the Dirty Dogs have been slain and Nemesis has been fought. The rest of the Dirty Dogs are still at large and Nemesis took three grenades, two full Uzi clips, and an AK-47 clip and didn't fucking die. Things are getting stranger and stranger as the three Dogs that were slain had been chilling out in a building in the Park Place Cancer guarded by low level terrorists that usually associate with the notorious Death Toll Juicers.

A new player character by the name of Hammer has finally made the scene with his help in slaying the three previously mentioned mutant dogs. His next adventure consisted of raiding one of his company's secret labs for technology from his planet. (He is a feline Alien from the Planet Veldin. A Lombax like Ratchet from Ratchet and Clank) Anyway, the place was under attack from a Death Toll Juicer and human gunmen with the cops right outside the door, blazing away at each other. Hammer gets inside, gets the goods after taking out the Juicer, and detonates a bomb that he was informed about to cover up the lab's secrets. Like I said in the other Campaign entry, the government can't really be trusted and the cops are simply another gang who side with the Senator. So, Hammer blows the place sky high while riding his suped up cycle along rooftops and avoiding machine gun fire from Helicopters. Then as he is escaping on the streets he barely manages to escape Motorcycle cops by teleporting a grenade into the lead cop's pocket.. Ain't psionics great?

Meanwhile, Dread and Scion (the two most prominent heroes of the city and bitter rivals) are investigating the sewers under the building the dogs were found in. Apparently the building had been a safe house for the dogs and mutant rats. Anyway, I am rambling and can't really think of ingenious details to share.. so tuttles.

Heh, this is the entry that has the minor and pathetic hope that I can drag my art back out of the Neaderthalic crap I have been producing lately.

I have a ton of experience drawing my reptiles. Not saying I am good or even competent, but I have done it for years. Well, my recent deviation was actually hard. Why?! Shit, the head isn't up to my normal standards of shit I still need to scan onto here. I actually had to drag out some of my old work to look at because I kept screwing up the head. The Head! Something I have been able to pull out of my ass for ages is a decent semi-three quarter view of a reptile head. Or at least fake enough to make people think I might be worth looking into.

I had to eyeball the body from elsewhere so I could have something to work with. I am just glad that tail didn't infuriate me too much. I remember being so happy that I completed it and colored it and even fucking loaded it. Now, I don't hate it.. yet.

I look at my featured deviation of Kurai and wonder if that was the last good thing I did. Heh, this was supposed to be a detraction from my last bit of whining and yet again, I am.... well, whining. *bangs head on desk* Ya.. I am done.. going to go shoot video game enemies now.

Somehow, I woke up into my life. I have to say that, because I don't want to admit that I didn't see it all coming.

Hell, the sheer rage I feel looking into the mirror. I hate what I see there. Some long haired idiot that managed to ruin my life and the worst part is that I did it all to myself. I managed to waste college. I just want to lash out at that person I see, behind that reflective glass and feel the satisfying crunch as my fingers tear through the back of his fucking skull. The inherent problem is that two things can happen if I were to try. First and most realistic is that I simply punch through the mirror and into the medicine cabinet, doing a good job of shredding my hands and accomplishing nothing else. Well, pissing off the people that run the apartment and my fiancee' as I have damaged myself and our place. Two, I actually managed to transcend spacial reality and tear into myself. This has the unfortunate side effect of killing me Before I get to hear that visceral glee of killing what I hate the most.

What is even more frustrating is the fact that I have reasons to live. I know that sounds rather odd and even a bit stupid, but bear with me. When you are a hate filled, petty little thing like me and you want to kill the object of your rage, namely me, reasons to live frustrate you. Why you may ask? Well, it is the conflicting emotions. I love holding my son and I want to see him grow up and I want to be with my fiancee' and make her happy and my annihilation doesn't seem to fit with that program. The dead aren't really privy to such matters as they are, well, dead. There is always the ghost mumbo-jumbo, but I reckon that I wouldn't be "lucky" enough to allowed to remain on the Material Plane and would most likely be sucked down into some personal hell or purgatory or whatever exists beyond the thin veil of reality and mysticism. Besides, from what I have read and seen and heard about ghosts, they aren't really that person so much as a presense. Kind of like the image you can get on a monitor if you leave the screen still for too long. That burned on image. So ya, ghosts seem to be Stains on reality not the actual soul of the person.

So ya, my mother wonders why I am so angry lately. Well, I don't know what to do anymore. I have essentially said fuck it to my dreams and just want to raise my kid. To do that, I need to pay off the ridiculous 50k+ debt I accrued while I wasted AI's time pretending I was after an education. Hell, I just need a job. I do have skills and the capacity to reason, but I honestly haven't recieved any bites. Hell, I even applied at Wal-Mart. You know how embarassing it is to be turned down by a place that hires morons? Let alone the other places I have talked to, Job agencies and what not. After a while, you start to feel paranoid like there is some stupid conspiracy or maybe some ex-girlfriend is managing to fuck you over.

The sad reality is that I am my own problem. My art declined so much that I quit Art School. I have thought about writing, but the last thing I need is more debt. I have a son to raise and encourage and hopefully give him something resembling wisdom so he doesn't become me. I look into his eyes, his mother's pretty blue eyes that he got, and have so much hope that I can be a decent dad. I can't bank on my greatness as a father, but I can hope that I am, at least, adequate. It would be too much if he grew up to hate me too.

Returning to the core of my frustrations I am not so mad that I screwed up my life.. Fuck, I hate the guy, right? Myabe I can take a sick and detached pleasure from my own misery. But and this is the mother of all giant Butts, I am mad that my fiancee' and son have to live with my stupidity too. My debt is their problem. Less money in the house. God, I hate money. No, I don't begrudge the rich for being rich. At least a small number of people actually earned it. Hell, even the inheritance fuckers I don't hate. If I had money, my boy would get it when I am finally dead. I just hate how much I want money right now. To my credit, I don't want a Lot of money. Just to have this fucking debt off my ass and enough money to be comfortable. Not vacationing in a new country every month, just comfortable. Occasion saving for shit we want, but needs are covered with a tad to spare on the luxuries that keep us sane.

I don't know, I am too tired to be angry or even depressed. Just spiritually tired. Here is a fun example of why I am frustrated to the point of psychic fatigue. My fiancee' and I won a grand prize from some random drawing that was done locally. Won round trip tickets to Florida. Worth 600 dollars. Not much, but hey, the prize is REAL and we didn't even have to do anything to sign up in the first place. Was some drawing from the phone book by a car dealership trying to scare up customers. The point is, we won something cool.

Here is the kicker. We are practically broke, so the tickets are Useless to us. Ya, we could go to Florida and then sit outside for six days. The funny thing is that the second prize was 500 bucks. Money... As in something we could Actually use. Well, it was frustrating to me as I have never won Anything of value. So when we do win something, it is just worthless paper and tickets we can't realistically use. It felt like a kick in the face or at least a pointed finger and laughter from a higher power.

And so on and so forth with my irritating verbage. God, I hate typing in journals because I want to open up in them and let out my frustrations and I can't stand listening to me bitch.

So ya, I will annoy the world no more.. At least until I feel the irrepressable urge to bitch and whine incessantly again. Now, I will go shoot things on Time Splitters: Future Perfect and hope that caffeine and a full belly will find me in better spirits.

Hmm.. There is the stark realization that I am a caffeine junkie. While I like to think that this is a bad thing, Damn I like Pepsi and Mountain Dew.

Anyway, for those of you in cartoon land that like my campaign stuff... I will give you the update on my Heroes Campaign, which uses the Palladium system best known in Rifts. Here is the plot I am running..

The year is 2025. There is no more presidents in America after Bush showed the world what one man in power could do to a country. He drove the economy into complete bankruptsy. He was executed as a war criminal in 2015. There is no more voting as it was decided that people are too stupid to vote. There is no House of Representatives, there is only the 50 senators and the Supreme Court.

In hopes of saving the country, many different corporations banded together and paid off America's debt. The Senators rule the country with an iron fist and life goes on. Each state has its Senator, acting like a Duke with the corporations playing Lord and Barons competing with each other openly in hopes of currying favor with the Senator.

I know that you are probably thinking, Why curry favor? The corporations own everything right? Wrong. The senators have a great deal of power as a group, they bought out their own industrial interests, so they supply the government armies on their own, only seldom do they use independant contractors. New senators are selected by the other senators. With it being a lifelong position, there has only been two appointments. To the outside world, America seems to be back on top of things with an economy that could outbuy every other nation. It truly is the land of opportunity to those with the sheer ferocity to make it to the top.

All is not well, in the absense of ethics monsters can be born. Technology gone wrong, the human and animal potential being unleased through random mutations, Magic and the supernatural are even starting to exist to more than just the deluded.

My setting is the State of New York which is mostly now the City of Mega. Mega consists of New York city, Manhattan Island and a good portion of what used to be rural areas. Think New York, Los Angeles, and Manhattan squished together and you will have an idea of the size. For the most part, life goes on for the average citizen, except that besides muggers there is the possibility of a freak grabbing you in the dark or a vampire draining you dry like a sippy box. There are dead areas of the cities called Cancers where no honest citizen lives but that doesn't mean vacant.

To deal with such things, Corporations play warden in a city where the cops are just another gang trying to step up in the world. Street gangs with numbers and guns can hold their own territory, even from the well equipped and now mostly cold hearted police. The Valkyrie gang has the best guns and bikes in the city and hold Old Soho. The Metals hold the Duff Cancer area with the highest numbers in the city. The Harpies run the streets in New Manhattan. The Dark Knights walk the streets of Coney Island.

My current group is focused on working for a triumvirate of Companies that collectively call themselves The Foundry. The goals of the Foundry can be altruistic at times, but in the end all that matters is the green and the elimination of other agencies that would destroy their territory and hurt their consumer base.

The current situations deal with a development in augmentations called the Death Toll Juicer. These are very, very short lived terrorists that specialize in getting into sensitive areas and blowing them up. You see, Bush made plenty of new enemies for us that saw our economic decline as a sign to strike at our hearts again. Also, the Metals are a buzz with activity and are trying to capture scientists from one of the Foundry's front companies. Meanwhile, there is a rogue biker gang of mutant dogs that just murder/raped one of the Valkyries and managed to kill ten more of their number making their escape.

This all boils down to a powder keg situation. How long with the Senator Michael Prosek of New York stand by while he has the opportunity to pass laws against Freaks (super powered characters and mutants) and establish some Harsh Martial law? If the Valkyries go on WarPath again, they will most likely bring Military grade munitions and blow up chunks of the city trying to get back at the Dirty Dogs (name of the rogue mutant dog gang.) They are, after all, a gang of weapon Experts. (Think a gang of wild women with a Punisher-esque knack for weapon making and use.) Not only that, but they have ties with super powered friends that will go hunting too. And they will call in friends and so on.

So there is the situation about to go off. Gun Crazy biker chics with high powered friends sizzling the streets while other gangs are trying to cash in on the ensuing anarchy. Meanwhile, the Death Toll terrorists will be profiting from easy targets that now will be defenseless as the cops and super heroes that Normally defend them will be too damn busy with each other to stop them. All the while, the Army of Senator Prosek readies to bear down on Everybody.

Stay Tuned.....

Oh yea.. Things I forgot on that wishlist.

Get my fiancee's cat to stop using my floor for a bathroom, for that damn cat to actually be affectionate so I could forgive the improper floor use, or some real good head.

NOW, I will shut the hell up and leave you guys in peace.